Her Cup Overfloweth

Between the latest economic downturns and ever-rising college expenses, I have to say that I'm glad to have a job. I work at a coffee shop (not a Starbucks), which is neither the most exiting job or the most difficult. Sometimes, however, we do get our little "situations" that make me question why I do what I do for so little money (I make minimum wage plus tips, which is to say plus nothing because no one tips on eight dollar coffee).


The shop opens at 5:00 A.M. which is the shift that I work so I have the unpleasant task of dealing with grouchy people in the morning. A few days ago an extremely big-boned woman came in wearing WAY too revealing clothing and requesting that I make her a coffee. No problem... It's just that when the woman went to pay or her overpriced early morning drink she pulled aside her already too revealing shirt, reached inside and handed me a crumpled, moist, and stinky ten-dollar bill. Uh oh. Not only did I have to handle this, but I also caught an eyeful of this woman's breast. Let's just say her "cup overfloweth."

The woman's overflowing cup was not the only problem either. Our manager, Melanie, is always getting onto us about taking "unserviceable tender." This bill was crumpled, wet, and partially torn (though not torn too bad) making it the very definition of unserviceable. To make matters worse, the customer took offense when I asked her if she had anything more serviceable. She claimed that her money was just as good as anyone elses and demanded to speak to the manager. Usually I'd feel terrible about offending a customer, but this time I actually felt slightly offended.

In light of this event, I'd like to put together a list of people I'm not afraid to offend:

1. Grouchy or rude customers
2. Telemarketers (I was one for three weeks. Instead of becoming sensitive I hate them even more now.)
3. PETA activists
4. Sarah Palin supporters
5. Anyone over the age of 15 who likes the Jonas Brothers or Miley Cyrus.

Of course there's the opposite too. People I am afraid to offend:

1. My mother
2. My girlfriend
3. The guy on the college's financial services and scolarships comittee who's ass I have to kiss.
4. The really cute girl who always comes in to buy coffee
5. My Spanish professor (...really scary guy)

My First Post...

After reading other people's blogs for quite some time now (which I define as since January), I finally decided to start my own. After all, how hard can it be to come up with something creative and fun to read on a daily basis (maybe I shouldn't have...). I figured that my immobilized shoulder will keep me from doing actual work right now so I decided to write. I'll try and keep my first post short.

There were a lot of things that I expected to happen after I had my shoulder surgery, but most of those were about pain or physical limitations. However, one major thing I did not anticipate seems to play a large part in my everyday routine: terrible conversations. Upon seeing me most people ask about my injury (which is fine), talk about their own experiences with a shoulder injury (which is fine), or make the odd Ultrasling III joke (see the picture-- it looks kinda cool). But please, please, don't "put it all into perspective." I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself, but being "put into perspective" is incredibly irritating and doesn't accomplish anything.

Oh, you tore your labrum? If it's any consolation to you I got a buddy that got in a motorcycle wreck. He ran of the road, hit a tree and popped his shoulder clear off his arm. Paramedics were lookin' in the woods for my buddy's shoulder socket and found it fitty yards from the crash site. You should consider yourself lucky you only have a torn labrum.

Uhh... Thanks! After hearing that my shoulder has stopped hurting. Wow. At least its still attached.

The unfortunate part is that that story is not really an exaggeration.

Hope y'all liked it... Soon, with more better stuff (with apologies to Suldog-- won't happen again).